Some gifs of Morgan Woodward in various guest star roles...

Some gifs of Morgan Woodward in various guest star roles (1962-1979).

Wed, Jan 14, 09 - Worst Week, Crash, 24, Planet Of The Apes

06.30 Worst Week
07.00 Crash
08.00 24
09.00 Planet Of The Apes

Worst Week. Episode 12. "The Article" A very funny episode that - for once - doesn't rely on anyone telling white lies to cover something up.

Sam walks in on an embarrasing situation, and ends up writing an article about it (which - we are told is very funny). However, although he has written it, he could never consider publishing it. Then the article goes missing. And winds up going from person to person in hilarious manner while Sam and Mel scramble to try and get it back.

There are several outstandingly funny moments here, and I especially love it when the show casts Sam and Mel as a team working against his (incredible) bad luck.

Crash. Episode 2. "The Doctor Is In" I'm trying to like these characters, honestly I am. But two episodes in and I honestly couldn't give a frak about any of them. It reminds me of those early episodes I watched of godawful Heroes. I frantically searched the screen for someone to care about, and failed.

The couple having the argument about the renovations on the house are very boring. I don't care about their problems (even if they are being played by two great actors). I think we need to see them outside of their relationship, to get some perspective and find a reason to care about them.

Dennis Hopper was even more awful in this episode than he was in the first one. His speech/rant was self-conscious and pointless.

And what was the business with that sex scene in the back of that car? Sure, the girl is crazy hot and all, but that has to be longest and most boring sex scene I have ever seen on film. Ever.

24. Season 7, Episode 3. "10AM - 11AM" Predictable but amazing.

The first half was predictable, as Jack took a captured Tony from the boat back to FBI HQ and started to interrogate him. Guess what? Tony is not a bad guy, after all. No great shock there, to be honest. I mean, he could have been the Big Bad for this season... if the writers were about to make a mess of it. And, after the crazy decisions made in Season Six, there was a slim chance that they would destroy the character of Tony and make him a villain. So, yeah, it could have happened...

But, it makes more sense for things to go down this way. And, thus, they are predictable.

I'm not complaining.

Because the second half was bad ass cool. Tony is broken out of FBI HQ by Jack, with Chloe in his ear giving him instructions. This is what 24 is all about. This is when 24 is the coolest thing going, and the very best action show on television.

Planet Of The Apes. "Conquest" Twenty years have passed, Caesar has grown up and lives in a totalitarian society rules by humans. But Caesar keeps his mouth shut (literally) and he quietly builds an army under the nose of the governor until everything erupts in an orgy of violence.

For the first time in the series, Roddy McDowall is the lead actor and he gives a powerhouse performance. Caesar is a different character to his father, but - of course - he is born into different times...

The recurring themes of the POTA series are more muted here. For several reasons. Caesar spends the whole story in hiding, so there is no opportunity for debate. Also, Breck is a dreadful one-note character (and it's a dreadful one-note performance from Don Murray) and he is not open to discussion. He's the first evil bad guy in the series. Consequently he's not interesting. This guy has no philosophy or beliefs. He just hates and fears the Apes and he wants Caesar found and killed. There is nothing to the character beyond that.

It's a short, fast-moving movie. The start is clumsy (we are never given a solid reason for Armando bringing Caesar to the city, a very stupid move) but the movie recovers and quickly recovers. It's no classic, but it's miles ahead of #2 and has great battle scenes and a suitably downbeat tone.

Hari Rhodes and Ricardo Montalban give great performances, but the movie belongs to Roddy McDowall. He fills Caesar with hatred, fire and passion and - by the end - he has become a mirror image of Breck.

Highlight? 24 (Jack & Tony in action, with Chloe giving directions)
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Wed, Jan 7, 09 - Planet Of The Apes

07.00 Planet Of The Apes

Planet Of The Apes. "Escape" The coolest and most enjoyable of all of the Apes movies. Since it's about time-travel it's also my favourite Apes movie. And it's funny. What's not to love?

Remarkably the humourous tone of this third chapter is not in conflict with the overall dark tone of the series, or this episode's incredibly dark conclusion. Let's face it, how many light-hearted movies can you think of that end with the slow-motion, gunning down of all the main characters (good and evil), including a small baby?

None, I bet. Yet, Escape From The Planet Of The Apes is just such a movie. And it works. Mostly because, while the first half is humourous and charming, there is an underlying tension to all the scenes that never lets the audience let their guard down. The early death of Dr. Milo and the early establishing of the fact that Zira is told to keep a secret because their lives depend upon it, are the reason that this works. From that point on we know, despite the comedy onscreen, that lives can be lost in this movie and Zira and Cornelius are in constant danger.

But, aside from the tone and the ending, there are many reasons why this is a remarkable movie.

The performances. Kim Hunter and Eric Braeden are wonderful leads. She's the George Taylor of this story (the character who advocates change) while he is the new Zaius (trying to maintain the status quo at all costs). Braeden has some amazing scenes (the television interview is mind-blowing, and all his scenes with Zira are electric) and makes a compelling, and likable, bad guy. As with the first movie, we can understand the point of view of the villains of the piece. Nothing is black and white in these tales. All of them, especially the US President, are trying to find out what the right thing is.

The POTA stories are known for their iconic images, and none is more iconic/memorable than that the opening shot of the three apeonauts without their helmets. That's beyond cool.

As is the music, not only in the opening titles, since the score for the whole movie is terrific.

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Planet Of The Apes, V

Friday, January 2nd, 2009

07.00 Planet Of The Apes
11.00 V

Planet Of The Apes. Movie 2. "Beneath The Planet" A second astronaut crashes on the same planet, he meets Taylor's girlfriend (immediately after landing!!!) and the two of them set out to find Taylor. First they run foul of the apes and later they go underground and find something worse...

Oh dear. The first half of the first movie was pure adventure yarn, and so is the first half of this one with Brent and (the very hot) Nova being chased/captured by the apes at various times. Amid the action, the movie manages to feature all the main characters from the first one (even Taylor gets some new scenes, thanks to Nova's flashbacks to their times together).

The final half of the first movie had depth and meaning, while the second half of this one is pure hokum. Once the heroes go underground they find a race of humans who have developed incredible powers of the mind, and - in their spare time - have created a fanatical religion around an atomic bomb.

Goofy ideas. Even if they were well excecuted, I'm not sure how the fit into the world of the apes as detailed in the original movie. In fact, if you think about them too much, they kinda damage the serious tone of the franchise.

And the whole enterprise is badly realised on screen. Endless mind-torture scenes to - you know - show us what they can do. Brent tries to kill Nova more than once in pointless, sadistic scenes. And then there is the religion... which occupies many, many minutes of screen time. The rituals and prayers are shown in great detail. Ok, I get it, I get it: they worship a bomb. Let's move on, shall we?

The ending is bleak, and because of that very enjoyable, but the second half of the movie is deadly dull and silly. Once the narrative moves beneath the planet of the apes there is an awful lot of standing around watching people pray or create mental illusions. Yawn...



V. Part One. Aliens arrives in gigantic spaceships and make friends with us. But all is not as it seems. Various people, though different means, begin to suspect that the aliens are not the friends they pretend to be...

The opening half hour of this thing is one of the best build-ups ever committed to film. The tension rises and rises as every single character gathers around their TV to see what is about to happen. It shouldn't work. Logically. I mean, why should we care about a bunch of characters we've never seen before sitting down to watch the news for a half-hour?

Maybe it has something to do with the incredible casting and characterisation?

From their first line of dialogue, it is abundantly clear who each of these people are and what path their character is likely to take in the story to follow. It is a remarkable feat. None of them (with the exception of Mike's wife) is bland or boring. Each one grips the viewer and we care what happens to them.

And a lot happens...

Aliens become part of everyday life, but - on the edge of the character's knowledge - things are happening... People are disappearing, and the aliens seem to be gaining more and more power.

A thinly-veiled retelling of events in Nazy Germany, prior to WWII, this mini-series still packs as much of a punch as it always did.

Without exception, all the best scenes go to Leonardo Cimino as the old man who remembers Nazy Germany from first-hand experience. His speech (about his dead wife) can still make this viewer cry.

Leonardo Cimino aside, the show has many talent actors, many great scenes and many wonderful characters. Marc Singer is the quintessential sci-fi action hero (crusading journalist Mike Donovan), long before her character steps up to take the leadership reins of the resistance Faye Grant is absolutely riveting in the part, we watch her fighting with her boyfriend and worrying for her missing friend and we come to care a lot about her. In the final moments, when the camera goes for a close-up on her face as she lies in the dirt having just been shot, it brings your heart leaping to your mouth. We love Julie and are terrified that she, too, is about to die.

It's probably the best scene in the first two-hours. Any of the action scenes with Donovan dodging alien blasts are also terrific, as is the incredible action sequence with opens the story. Many of the quiet scenes are wonderful, too. The chemistry between Maxwell and his wife as they talk about the dinner party is wonderful.

And on and on...

So many highlights.

It's considered a classic. And it deserves to be.

Highlight? V (a classic)
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Mystery Science Theatre 3000, Planet Of The Apes, If Tomorrow Comes

Thursday, January 1st, 2009

02.00 Mystery Science Theatre 3000
07.00 Planet Of The Apes
11.30 If Tomorrow Comes

Mystery Science Theatre 3000. Season 7, Episode 6. "The Creeping Terror" A spaceship crashes and from it emerges an alien creature who proceeds to - slowly - move around the countryside attacking and eating people. People who are too dumb to run away, that is.

Surely one of the most entertaining 'bad movies' every made, the creature of the piece appears to be three men under a carpet. As person after person screams, and then climbs inside the mouth of the attacker, the MST3K gang have a field day.

It's a curious movie. For some reason, we never hear the actors say their dialogue. Instead a narrator tells us - scene by scene - what is happening and what is being said. Curious.

The funniest bit of all occurs about a half-hour into the movie when the hero of the story - a newly married cop - asks a buddy of his around for a couple of beers. As the three characters sit and talk, the narrator goes into great detail on the friendship of the two men, the strains that marriage will put on this friendship and how this happens to men all across a country.

Huh?

Quite what this has to do with the story is beyond me, but it allows the MST3K gang to start a wonderful riff about a "rogue narrator" who "doesn't play by the rules" and "gets results".

Hilarious.

Planet Of The Apes. Movie 1. "Planet Of The Apes" Very enjoyable, and clever, masterpiece that launched a successful franchise.

The first quarter shows us what happens when three astronauts - who expect to be returning to Earth after several hundred years in space - find themselves far off course and crashed on a desert alien landscape. Lots of nifty camera work, plus awesome location filming, make for a great start to the movie. The three guys adapt to their new environment and have some heated debates about what landed them in this situation.

The second quarter isolates Team Leader George Taylor and shows us his life as a prisoner of the ape-controlled society that rules the planet. Injured during his capture, Taylor can't speak and so he struggles to communicate with the intelligent primates around him and befriend a female scientist who has taken an interest in him.

The third quarter adds a lot of depth and substance to the story. When Taylor regains the power of speech it sends ripples through Ape Society, as he is the only human on this world capable of speech. Now more than an adventure story, the tale takes on a political edge as we watch those in power try to conceal this shocking development to protect their society status quo.

By the final quarter of the movie, it has returned to it's action-adventure roots. Taylor is on the run, with a band of supporters, and trying to prove that the Ape Society is built on lies.

Charlton Heston gives a terrific performance as Taylor. He makes a great hero in the middle of a great story, with a superb supporting cast. The characters are well fleshed out. The bad guys are easy to understand, and - though we root for Taylor - we can sympathise with the reasons for what they are trying to do.

If Tomorrow Comes. Episode 2. With her origin/backstory out of the way, and revenge got on the bad guys, Tracy is a free agent and the second part of ITC is a very different beast to the first part. The story is not quite as strong, but the pace is faster and there is more fun to be had. Tracy becomes an international cat-burglar/con-woman, travelling the world at dizzying pace and stealing from the rich and corrupt every chance she gets. Madolyn Smith Osborne is an absolute delight as Tracy dons a series of disguises and fakes accents with aplomb. It reminds of Alias.

The highpoint of the series comes in the latter hour of the movie, as Tracy meets Jeff (again) and they join forces to pull off fake chess games and walk away with 300,000 dollars in winnings. The series has a fantastic score and it comes into play in all of the action sequences, but it is never more enjoyable than during the chess games as Tracy (with Jeff in tow) runs around the cruise ship from game to game.

Highlight? Planet Of The Apes (downbeat and profound)
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